It's not a diet...

Normally I find myself constantly craving things like cereal or cakey sweets, then I give into them. I'd tell myself that "I did my best" or "I'll start over tomorrow."  Neither statement was ever true. I wasn't trying my best. I was just doing the bare minimum to satisfy my idea of what a diet was. It's the bane of my existence. I have half-assed every single part of my life and eating right was no exception. And when "tomorrow" came, I slipped right back into my old habits because I felt like a complete failure. Being fat is depressing, but failing to even put forth a proper effort to change is even worse. It's part of the whole "vicious cycle" crap people talk about, but it's horribly true. I'd just repeat the diet-cheat-fail-depression, diet-cheat-fail-depression, diet-cheat-fail-depression cycle over and over until... Hell, I don't think it ever really stopped until about 7 weeks ago. When I decided, once again, to lose weight, I approached it the same way I always have. I don't know what is different this time though. I just feel different about it. I have genuine confidence in myself this time around. I've already made changes in my body and lifestyle that I never thought I could do, and the results are actually measurable. I'm down 28 pounds. I've lost about 7 inches off my body. I've been running further than I ever had in the past. I even had the courage to try something that a few people told me I physically could not do when I chose to start CrossFit. That alone has been a huge drive for me. 

I still have those cravings for junk, and I'll be the first to admit that I've succumbed to them on multiple occasions. But now that I'm eating the right foods for my body, I notice the horrible effects that eating crap can do to me. One little cheat has put me in the bathroom a few times already. Doctors call that bio-feedback... I guess it's been a good deterrent that helps keep me on the healthier path. 

I have zero idea who actually takes the time to read this blog, but hopefully someone that is in the same hole as me can see that they aren't alone in this. I am in no way unique in how I feel about changing my life around. We all feel it in one way or another. I've been lucky enough to have a few great support people around me and I've even sought support from strangers online. This blog is just an extension of that support. I feel that if I put it all out there for my friends, family, and total strangers to see, then I'll have some sort of obligation to succeed. I will not fail this time. No way in hell.