Foundations / On-Ramp has begun!

Last night I went through my first Foundations class at CrossFit Praus. My trainers are already setting aside a little extra time for me this week to squeeze all of the classes and movements into 1 week instead of 2 to accommodate the fact that I will not be in town next week.  There were 4 other people starting the classes this week as well.  As the 5 of us started warming up and meeting each other, the WOD was posted on the wall.  I was not going to be happy at all with this one...  1/2 Cindy...  Cindy is basically the same thing as the Murph we did on Memorial day, minus the running.  That was just one day ago, though, and my quads were still screaming at me.  I felt almost like I had offended the trainers somehow and was being punished.  There was now way I was going to be able to do this.  I can't sit down on the toilet without help, let alone repeat a huge chunk of the workout that put me in this misery to begin with!

We warmed up a bit and went through some movements.  Soon, we got into some of the movements I had learned in previous classes, therefore, I was pulled aside to squeeze in a few other new moves instead.  We covered the basic squats (which were miserable even with a piece of pvc and no weight) and box jumps.  We still had a few minutes before the WOD was starting so we covered some kettlebell moves.  Thankfully, my trainer had also done Murph the day before and was feeling my pain quite literally.  Without saying anything, she walked over to the board where the WOD was written and wrote out a second WOD just for me.  I could have cried tears of joy.  I would be doing kettlebell work instead.  Long story short, I did my new WOD in under the 10 minute time limit and made a very wet sweat angel right in the middle of the floor.

Today I went back in to work on a few more moves that I would have missed next week.  They were there waiting for me half an hour before the next class started.  By the time the 4:30 class was ready to begin, we were done and I was invited to stay for the WOD.  I had to pass on that one.  My legs need a little more recovery time.  I'll be back tomorrow night, though, and probably Friday too.

I owe Shane and Amanda Burge a huge thank you for helping me out so much with taking these first steps.  I appreciate every little bit of extra time you've each taken to make this a reality for me.

Memorial Day Murph!

How was everyone's Memorial Day?  Did you have a nice BBQ and a few beers with friends and family?  I sure as heck hope so!  That's what today is all about isn't it?  :::insert dramatic pause here:::  A lot of people seem to forget what Memorial Day really is all about.  It's not about hot dogs and hamburgers.  That's just how we celebrate it.  Memorial Day is a day of remembering the men and women who died while serving in the United States Armed Services.  They are the ones we are meant to be honoring when you're raising your beer glasses up to your friends and family in your backyard cookout.  It's a wonderful way to celebrate it, but we seem to lose focus of why we do it in the first place.  We forget to give thanks to those men and women that gave their lives defending the freedoms we take for granted. Freedoms like backyard barbecues...  I'm not gonna get all preachy on you over it, but please try to honor those people that sacrificed everything so that we may all enjoy these freedoms every day.

One of these brave people was Lt. Michael Murphy.  On June 28, 2005 he knowingly and willingly hiked into an open clearing during an intense firefight between his 4 man team and upwards of 200 Taliban forces in order to establish radio communications to call for reinforcements.  Unfortunately, by the time they made it, 3 of the 4 men in the team were killed in action, including Lt. Murphy himself.  They didn't go down without a fight, though.  Some estimate that 70% of the Taliban were killed as well.  As a result of Lt. Murphy's heroic and selfless actions, he was awarded the Medal of Honor posthumously.

A few years later, CrossFitters began honoring Lt. Murphy in their own way.  By naming a WOD after him and his favorite workout routine.  Simply called "Murph", it is nothing short of brutal!  Every Memorial Day, CrossFit boxes around the country pay their respects by holding Murph WODs in his honor.  It's kind of a big deal...  Let me just break down what the Murph entails.  First, you take a mile run.  No big deal I suppose, this could be pretty easy.  Then you are slammed in the gut with the core of the workout.  100 pullups...  (I can't even do 1)  200 pushups...  And 300 squats...  Apparently, Murphy was also a mad man to claim this as his favorite workout!  Oh wait, I almost forgot the best part.  After you've done all that work, and your shoulders, arms, and legs are screaming for you to put them out of their misery, you have another mile run to finish it off.  Did I mention the weight vest?  Oh yea, if you have one of those, you're supposed to wear that too.  Holy crap!


I'm getting a little side tracked here.  Today, at CrossFit Praus, we paid our respects in a series of 3 Murph heats.  They only scheduled 2 heats, but so many people showed up that there was no choice but to add a third.  I knew there was no way I could do it, so I was just going to support everyone else and enjoy the show.  A few days ago, though, a couple people started asking me if I was going to do it.  After I told them no, they persuaded me to change my mind and just give it a try.  I got there this morning a few minutes into the first heat and began talking to a few of the people warming up.  What the hell was I about to do?!?!?  Nearly everyone in the place is chiseled and in perfect shape.  Have you seen me?  I'm nearly 300 pounds and I break a sweat flipping through the tv channels.  The butterflies started to hit me pretty bad.  One of the girls next to me started suggesting that I do a 1/2 Murph (exactly what it sounds like).  I was very quick to agree until Amanda, the trainer/coach/owner caught wind of my plan and gave me a stare that could stop a bear dead in its tracks.  Fine!  I'll do a full Murph.

 

 

As my heat was about to begin, we lined up outside as it began to drizzle.  It was a bit windy and cold too, and I was wishing I had a hoodie.  That was going to change fast though.  As the clock started, we bolted from the starting line.  It wasn't long before I began to see just how bad of shape I was in compared to all these other athletes.  I had to do a run/walk/run/walk the whole mile while everyone else was able to run the entire thing nonstop.  It didn't matter though.  I was there.  I was giving my true best effort.  I finished my mile long after everyone else, but when I looked at the clock I saw that I had actually set a new mile record for myself by nearly 2 minutes!  It was time to get down to business.

Most people like to break the pullups, pushups, and squats into sets rather than doing all of them in a row.  This was to be my strategy as well.  I would do 20 sets of 5,10,15 respectively for a total of 100, 200, and 300.  My first real problem was the fact that I have never done a pullup in my life.  The trainers suggested I do ring rows instead and set up a pair of rings for me.  I put my feet out and leaned back on the rings and pulled myself up for 5 reps.  That wasn't too awful so I jumped right down to do my 10 pushups.  Pushups aren't my strong suit.  I'm very heave and not very strong, but I knocked them out fairly quickly.  Squats, on the other hand, I can do.  15 done and it was time to move on to set number 2.  The fatigue set in pretty quickly as I finished each set, trying to get to 20 total.  Once I got through my 6th set I hit the wall.  I knew I was done.  There was no way in hell I was going to get 14 more of these ball busting sets out.  The time I was taking between each exercise grew longer and longer.  A few of the people that had stuck around after finishing the 1st heat gathered around me.  I was not very comfortable with that at all.  I have serious anxieties about how I appear to others.  Not just physically.  I was afraid of the embarrassment that was sure to come when I gave up.  I was on the edge of complete failure, and all these people decided to come watch the show.  But something weird happened.  Just moments after my brain said that I was done, the rest of me kept going.  These people weren't here to watch me fail.  They were here to make me succeed. Rather than just watching me struggle, they began to do the movements with me.  They rooted me on after every pullup, pushup, and squat.  They were the ones refusing to quit, and I just followed suit.  I made a tough decision right there that I was going to at least finish the 1/2 Murph.  I was 2 sets away and every time I got on the ground to do a pushup, they were on the ground next to me doing them too.  Every agonizing squat was mirrored by these strangers that refused to let me give up on myself.  It was the hardest thing I've ever physically done, but I made it through 10 sets and had to hobble out the back door to finish with a run.  Since I was only going to do a half at this point, I only had to run 1/2 mile.  It's only a half mile....  My new friends followed me outside and told me they weren't going anywhere without me.  My heart was so full at that very moment that I fought back a tear or two.  I wanted so badly to finish strong as appreciation for their help.  As they cheered for me to pick up my legs and start running, nothing happened.  My legs were complete jello.  They didn't hurt.  They didn't feel.... anything.  I was pretty numb and struggled to move faster than a snail's pace as we walked that last half mile together.  The entire walk, no matter how disappointed I started to feel, they were quick to nip it in the bud, reminding me that just a couple of weeks ago I wouldn't have even considered trying something like this.  I was doing more than that person sitting on their couch or grilling out in the yard.  I was actually accomplishing something that I would have never fathomed before... As we hit the halfway point and turned around to head back, I decided to give my legs another try.  I struggled to make a very slow jog.  I did this for a minute or so and had to go back to walking.  We made our way back to the parking lot and the final 100m or so.  I was determined to finish the way I started.  Running.  It was the longest 100m dash of my life, but I did it.  I finished Murph.  Well, 1/2 Murph anyway.  I staggered my way through the gym to see my girlfriend, who has done nothing but support and encourage me in ways that the people at the gym couldn't.  After a quick, sweaty hug and kiss I sprawled out on the floor and wished I was in a hot tub.

It was an amazing day.  I saw others do things they never thought possible as well.  When it was all said and done, I had something very special to take home with me:

My name on the wall...

Thank you so very much for your encouragement and support.  I see now more than ever what CrossFit really is.  It is a family and I am proud to be a part of it.  Next year I will do the full Murph and hopefully I can do my part to push others the way I was pushed today.

How do I feel?


I want to leave you with a song that I come to every time I need an extra push.  It's all in the lyrics.  Give it a listen.

It's not a diet...

Normally I find myself constantly craving things like cereal or cakey sweets, then I give into them. I'd tell myself that "I did my best" or "I'll start over tomorrow."  Neither statement was ever true. I wasn't trying my best. I was just doing the bare minimum to satisfy my idea of what a diet was. It's the bane of my existence. I have half-assed every single part of my life and eating right was no exception. And when "tomorrow" came, I slipped right back into my old habits because I felt like a complete failure. Being fat is depressing, but failing to even put forth a proper effort to change is even worse. It's part of the whole "vicious cycle" crap people talk about, but it's horribly true. I'd just repeat the diet-cheat-fail-depression, diet-cheat-fail-depression, diet-cheat-fail-depression cycle over and over until... Hell, I don't think it ever really stopped until about 7 weeks ago. When I decided, once again, to lose weight, I approached it the same way I always have. I don't know what is different this time though. I just feel different about it. I have genuine confidence in myself this time around. I've already made changes in my body and lifestyle that I never thought I could do, and the results are actually measurable. I'm down 28 pounds. I've lost about 7 inches off my body. I've been running further than I ever had in the past. I even had the courage to try something that a few people told me I physically could not do when I chose to start CrossFit. That alone has been a huge drive for me. 

I still have those cravings for junk, and I'll be the first to admit that I've succumbed to them on multiple occasions. But now that I'm eating the right foods for my body, I notice the horrible effects that eating crap can do to me. One little cheat has put me in the bathroom a few times already. Doctors call that bio-feedback... I guess it's been a good deterrent that helps keep me on the healthier path. 

I have zero idea who actually takes the time to read this blog, but hopefully someone that is in the same hole as me can see that they aren't alone in this. I am in no way unique in how I feel about changing my life around. We all feel it in one way or another. I've been lucky enough to have a few great support people around me and I've even sought support from strangers online. This blog is just an extension of that support. I feel that if I put it all out there for my friends, family, and total strangers to see, then I'll have some sort of obligation to succeed. I will not fail this time. No way in hell.