Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Foundations / On-Ramp has begun!

Last night I went through my first Foundations class at CrossFit Praus. My trainers are already setting aside a little extra time for me this week to squeeze all of the classes and movements into 1 week instead of 2 to accommodate the fact that I will not be in town next week.  There were 4 other people starting the classes this week as well.  As the 5 of us started warming up and meeting each other, the WOD was posted on the wall.  I was not going to be happy at all with this one...  1/2 Cindy...  Cindy is basically the same thing as the Murph we did on Memorial day, minus the running.  That was just one day ago, though, and my quads were still screaming at me.  I felt almost like I had offended the trainers somehow and was being punished.  There was now way I was going to be able to do this.  I can't sit down on the toilet without help, let alone repeat a huge chunk of the workout that put me in this misery to begin with!

We warmed up a bit and went through some movements.  Soon, we got into some of the movements I had learned in previous classes, therefore, I was pulled aside to squeeze in a few other new moves instead.  We covered the basic squats (which were miserable even with a piece of pvc and no weight) and box jumps.  We still had a few minutes before the WOD was starting so we covered some kettlebell moves.  Thankfully, my trainer had also done Murph the day before and was feeling my pain quite literally.  Without saying anything, she walked over to the board where the WOD was written and wrote out a second WOD just for me.  I could have cried tears of joy.  I would be doing kettlebell work instead.  Long story short, I did my new WOD in under the 10 minute time limit and made a very wet sweat angel right in the middle of the floor.

Today I went back in to work on a few more moves that I would have missed next week.  They were there waiting for me half an hour before the next class started.  By the time the 4:30 class was ready to begin, we were done and I was invited to stay for the WOD.  I had to pass on that one.  My legs need a little more recovery time.  I'll be back tomorrow night, though, and probably Friday too.

I owe Shane and Amanda Burge a huge thank you for helping me out so much with taking these first steps.  I appreciate every little bit of extra time you've each taken to make this a reality for me.

Monday, May 27, 2013

Memorial Day Murph!


How was everyone's Memorial Day?  Did you have a nice BBQ and a few beers with friends and family?  I sure as heck hope so!  That's what today is all about isn't it?  :::insert dramatic pause here:::  A lot of people seem to forget what Memorial Day really is all about.  It's not about hot dogs and hamburgers.  That's just how we celebrate it.  Memorial Day is a day of remembering the men and women who died while serving in the United States Armed Services.  They are the ones we are meant to be honoring when you're raising your beer glasses up to your friends and family in your backyard cookout.  It's a wonderful way to celebrate it, but we seem to lose focus of why we do it in the first place.  We forget to give thanks to those men and women that gave their lives defending the freedoms we take for granted. Freedoms like backyard barbecues...  I'm not gonna get all preachy on you over it, but please try to honor those people that sacrificed everything so that we may all enjoy these freedoms every day.

One of these brave people was Lt. Michael Murphy.  On June 28, 2005 he knowingly and willingly hiked into an open clearing during an intense firefight between his 4 man team and upwards of 200 Taliban forces in order to establish radio communications to call for reinforcements.  Unfortunately, by the time they made it, 3 of the 4 men in the team were killed in action, including Lt. Murphy himself.  They didn't go down without a fight, though.  Some estimate that 70% of the Taliban were killed as well.  As a result of Lt. Murphy's heroic and selfless actions, he was awarded the Medal of Honor posthumously.



A few years later, CrossFitters began honoring Lt. Murphy in their own way.  By naming a WOD after him and his favorite workout routine.  Simply called "Murph", it is nothing short of brutal!  Every Memorial Day, CrossFit boxes around the country pay their respects by holding Murph WODs in his honor.  It's kind of a big deal...  Let me just break down what the Murph entails.  First, you take a mile run.  No big deal I suppose, this could be pretty easy.  Then you are slammed in the gut with the core of the workout.  100 pullups...  (I can't even do 1)  200 pushups...  And 300 squats...  Apparently, Murphy was also a mad man to claim this as his favorite workout!  Oh wait, I almost forgot the best part.  After you've done all that work, and your shoulders, arms, and legs are screaming for you to put them out of their misery, you have another mile run to finish it off.  Did I mention the weight vest?  Oh yea, if you have one of those, you're supposed to wear that too.  Holy crap!


I'm getting a little side tracked here.  Today, at CrossFit Praus, we paid our respects in a series of 3 Murph heats.  They only scheduled 2 heats, but so many people showed up that there was no choice but to add a third.  I knew there was no way I could do it, so I was just going to support everyone else and enjoy the show.  A few days ago, though, a couple people started asking me if I was going to do it.  After I told them no, they persuaded me to change my mind and just give it a try.  I got there this morning a few minutes into the first heat and began talking to a few of the people warming up.  What the hell was I about to do?!?!?  Nearly everyone in the place is chiseled and in perfect shape.  Have you seen me?  I'm nearly 300 pounds and I break a sweat flipping through the tv channels.  The butterflies started to hit me pretty bad.  One of the girls next to me started suggesting that I do a 1/2 Murph (exactly what it sounds like).  I was very quick to agree until Amanda, the trainer/coach/owner caught wind of my plan and gave me a stare that could stop a bear dead in its tracks.  Fine!  I'll do a full Murph.




 
As my heat was about to begin, we lined up outside as it began to drizzle.  It was a bit windy and cold too, and I was wishing I had a hoodie.  That was going to change fast though.  As the clock started, we bolted from the starting line.  It wasn't long before I began to see just how bad of shape I was in compared to all these other athletes.  I had to do a run/walk/run/walk the whole mile while everyone else was able to run the entire thing nonstop.  It didn't matter though.  I was there.  I was giving my true best effort.  I finished my mile long after everyone else, but when I looked at the clock I saw that I had actually set a new mile record for myself by nearly 2 minutes!  It was time to get down to business.

Most people like to break the pullups, pushups, and squats into sets rather than doing all of them in a row.  This was to be my strategy as well.  I would do 20 sets of 5,10,15 respectively for a total of 100, 200, and 300.  My first real problem was the fact that I have never done a pullup in my life.  The trainers suggested I do ring rows instead and set up a pair of rings for me.  I put my feet out and leaned back on the rings and pulled myself up for 5 reps.  That wasn't too awful so I jumped right down to do my 10 pushups.  Pushups aren't my strong suit.  I'm very heave and not very strong, but I knocked them out fairly quickly.  Squats, on the other hand, I can do.  15 done and it was time to move on to set number 2.  The fatigue set in pretty quickly as I finished each set, trying to get to 20 total.  Once I got through my 6th set I hit the wall.  I knew I was done.  There was no way in hell I was going to get 14 more of these ball busting sets out.  The time I was taking between each exercise grew longer and longer.  A few of the people that had stuck around after finishing the 1st heat gathered around me.  I was not very comfortable with that at all.  I have serious anxieties about how I appear to others.  Not just physically.  I was afraid of the embarrassment that was sure to come when I gave up.  I was on the edge of complete failure, and all these people decided to come watch the show.  But something weird happened.  Just moments after my brain said that I was done, the rest of me kept going.  These people weren't here to watch me fail.  They were here to make me succeed. Rather than just watching me struggle, they began to do the movements with me.  They rooted me on after every pullup, pushup, and squat.  They were the ones refusing to quit, and I just followed suit.  I made a tough decision right there that I was going to at least finish the 1/2 Murph.  I was 2 sets away and every time I got on the ground to do a pushup, they were on the ground next to me doing them too.  Every agonizing squat was mirrored by these strangers that refused to let me give up on myself.  It was the hardest thing I've ever physically done, but I made it through 10 sets and had to hobble out the back door to finish with a run.  Since I was only going to do a half at this point, I only had to run 1/2 mile.  It's only a half mile....  My new friends followed me outside and told me they weren't going anywhere without me.  My heart was so full at that very moment that I fought back a tear or two.  I wanted so badly to finish strong as appreciation for their help.  As they cheered for me to pick up my legs and start running, nothing happened.  My legs were complete jello.  They didn't hurt.  They didn't feel.... anything.  I was pretty numb and struggled to move faster than a snail's pace as we walked that last half mile together.  The entire walk, no matter how disappointed I started to feel, they were quick to nip it in the bud, reminding me that just a couple of weeks ago I wouldn't have even considered trying something like this.  I was doing more than that person sitting on their couch or grilling out in the yard.  I was actually accomplishing something that I would have never fathomed before... As we hit the halfway point and turned around to head back, I decided to give my legs another try.  I struggled to make a very slow jog.  I did this for a minute or so and had to go back to walking.  We made our way back to the parking lot and the final 100m or so.  I was determined to finish the way I started.  Running.  It was the longest 100m dash of my life, but I did it.  I finished Murph.  Well, 1/2 Murph anyway.  I staggered my way through the gym to see my girlfriend, who has done nothing but support and encourage me in ways that the people at the gym couldn't.  After a quick, sweaty hug and kiss I sprawled out on the floor and wished I was in a hot tub.

It was an amazing day.  I saw others do things they never thought possible as well.  When it was all said and done, I had something very special to take home with me:
My name on the wall...









Thank you so very much for your encouragement and support.  I see now more than ever what CrossFit really is.  It is a family and I am proud to be a part of it.  Next year I will do the full Murph and hopefully I can do my part to push others the way I was pushed today.

How do I feel?


I want to leave you with a song that I come to every time I need an extra push.  It's all in the lyrics.  Give it a listen.



Tuesday, May 21, 2013

It's not a diet...

Normally I find myself constantly craving things like cereal or cakey sweets, then I give into them. I'd tell myself that "I did my best" or "I'll start over tomorrow."  Neither statement was ever true. I wasn't trying my best. I was just doing the bare minimum to satisfy my idea of what a diet was. It's the bane of my existence. I have half-assed every single part of my life and eating right was no exception. And when "tomorrow" came, I slipped right back into my old habits because I felt like a complete failure. Being fat is depressing, but failing to even put forth a proper effort to change is even worse. It's part of the whole "vicious cycle" crap people talk about, but it's horribly true. I'd just repeat the diet-cheat-fail-depression, diet-cheat-fail-depression, diet-cheat-fail-depression cycle over and over until... Hell, I don't think it ever really stopped until about 7 weeks ago. When I decided, once again, to lose weight, I approached it the same way I always have. I don't know what is different this time though. I just feel different about it. I have genuine confidence in myself this time around. I've already made changes in my body and lifestyle that I never thought I could do, and the results are actually measurable. I'm down 28 pounds. I've lost about 7 inches off my body. I've been running further than I ever had in the past. I even had the courage to try something that a few people told me I physically could not do when I chose to start CrossFit. That alone has been a huge drive for me. 

I still have those cravings for junk, and I'll be the first to admit that I've succumbed to them on multiple occasions. But now that I'm eating the right foods for my body, I notice the horrible effects that eating crap can do to me. One little cheat has put me in the bathroom a few times already. Doctors call that bio-feedback... I guess it's been a good deterrent that helps keep me on the healthier path. 

I have zero idea who actually takes the time to read this blog, but hopefully someone that is in the same hole as me can see that they aren't alone in this. I am in no way unique in how I feel about changing my life around. We all feel it in one way or another. I've been lucky enough to have a few great support people around me and I've even sought support from strangers online. This blog is just an extension of that support. I feel that if I put it all out there for my friends, family, and total strangers to see, then I'll have some sort of obligation to succeed. I will not fail this time. No way in hell. 





Saturday, May 18, 2013

CrossFit: Week 2 - Day 2

Just another really quick update today.  I really really really didn't want to go to do my weekly (for now) CrossFit session this morning.  I was kinda lazy all week after my last class and had several slips in my diet.  I felt like I hadn't treated my body well enough to be ready for another brutal Saturday morning WOD.  I sent the owners of the gym a message last night instructing them to TELL me that I HAD to be there, to which they happily obliged.  It was too late to back out after that.  I had made a commitment to someone to do something, therefore I had to do it.  It's always been very easy for me to break a commitment to myself, so this was a way to bypass that problem.  I woke up this morning, ate a small cup of oatmeal (I know it's not Paleo, but I'm working on it), and headed out.  I got there a few minutes early and headed inside to see if the WOD was posted on the whiteboard.  Nope.  It was going to be a surprise.  We had an interesting warm up.  We played musical medicine balls while doing bear crawls.  I made it about halfway through that before I was bounced out and had to do burpees.  Then came the WOD.  We did a "Deck of Cards" workout.  Each suit represented a move or exercise; push presses, kettle bell swings, mason twists, and a 100/200 meter run.  We worked in pairs.  I met a cool guy from northern Michigan that was just visiting his sister and was talked into checking it out with her.  I was very happy to be paired up with another newbie.  After a brief instruction on the techniques we needed to do this WOD we began.  30 minute time limit...  My partner, Jeff, and I would take turns drawing from a deck of cards.  Whatever card you drew, you had to do that many reps with the corresponding exercise for that suit.  If I drew a 7 of spades, I had to do 7 push presses.  There was a twist though.  There were still 2 jokers in the deck.  If you drew one, you both had to do 15 burpees.  We started off pretty strong, blowing through the first 5 or 6 cards pretty quickly.  Joker...  DAMN IT!  Thankfully, we hit that one early enough that we weren't too exhausted to do them.  I'm not gonna lie though.  I struggled after 8 or so, but after I finished, we pressed on.  Back and forth, we drew cards.  For some reason, I think the deck might have been stacked.  I kept drawing 10s and face cards in the suit of spades, which was push presses.  after my 3rd time, I was having a really hard time getting that bar over my head.  Thankfully, several people were there rooting me on and my partner even stepped in once to finish my reps for me.  I never failed a rep once I started it.  I drew a few back-to-back runs, too, and fought to keep my breath.  I almost tossed up that oatmeal at one point but managed to keep it down.  Several people were finishing out there deck and writing their times on the whiteboard.  As the 30 minute mark came, we still had about 10 cards left (2 away from the other joker).  We didn't finish, but I'll be damned if I didn't try!  It was another awesome experience, and it helped solidify my decision to join ASAP.  People remembered my name from last week and congratulated me and encouraged me throughout the day, and I am very grateful for the extra support.  During my post-workout shower I could barely raise my arms above my head!  I have a feeling that tomorrow will be pretty rough but it's worth it.

Oh, by the way, I'm down 5 more pounds!

Friday, May 17, 2013

Slip and Slide

I feel stalled. I've been eating right for over a month and exercising a few times a week, but I'm not losing any weight. This is the point where I normally would say, "We'll, I tried. Better luck next time." Looking back, though, the things I "normally" do clearly don't work. That's half the reason I even decided to post on the blog today. Sometimes I need to remind myself of why I'm even doing this. Why am I bothering to better myself?  Why do I need to lose weight?  You know what the truth to those questions are?  Other than the obvious, it's because for the first time in my life, I need to finish what I've started. I've let myself and the people I care about down more times than I care to remember. So despite the feeling that I'm falling off the proverbial wagon, I'm just checking in to say that I am continuing to push on. I've got a long way to go and lots of things to accomplish along the way. 

Saturday, May 11, 2013

CrossFit Day 1: Part 2

I knew I was gonna be sore, but... WOW!  The stairs are my worst enemy right now. I popped an Aleve, and I'm off to bed. 

I'm glad this will finally find some use. 


HO! LY! CRAP! CrossFit: Day 1

Today was a big day for me.  I had been tossing around the idea of trying out CrossFit as a way to lose weight and get into shape.  I have friends that swear by it and others that tell me that I needed to lose weight first to avoid a cardiac episode.  After mulling it over for the past year, and researching the local CrossFit gyms, I decided to jump into the deep end at Crossfit Praus here in Ft. Wayne this morning for their free guest day.  I've been in contact with the owners/trainers for the past week or so, and with their added encouragement and reassurance that I wouldn't keel over, I committed myself to be there.  Luckily, I didn't have to go alone.  Maria, my girlfriend, was more than happy to go check it out with me and go through the day's workout.

We got there at about 8:45am to a nearly empty parking lot in front of an industrial style metal building.  Within 5 minutes, there were a dozen other cars joining us.  We stepped inside to the lobby and met Shane and Amanda Burge, the owners and our trainers for the day.  I was pretty intimidated right off the bat.  As I looked around, I saw a lot of very fit men and women who have obviously been doing this for a while.  I was, by far, the heaviest person in the gym (aka. box).  I had butterflies before I got there and now there were getting worse.  I signed my injury/death waiver and headed into the gym.  It was a wide open room, lined with boxes, pull up bars, rings hanging from the ceiling, barbells, and bumper plates.  I was so far out of my element.  I had no clue what I was going to be put through and I was getting really nervous.  As everyone filed into the gym, the trainers headed to the center and everyone circled around.  There were probably about 25 people in there, and after the introductions, I found out that a lot of these people were here for their first time as well.  The nerves began to calm.



We started with some stretches and a 400m run outside.  Afterwards, we learned a few of the fundamental motions and exercises that we would be doing today.  Air squats, burpees, push ups, and dead lifts.  We all practiced these moves for a few minutes before the WOD (workout of the day) was introduced to us and explained.  We were working with partners on this one, so I obviously paired up with Maria.  We were about to do 3 rounds of some serious intensity as partners.

3 Rounds (21/15/9 reps respectively) For Time - 20:00 Limit

  • Burpees
  • Squats
  • Push ups
  • Dead lifts 
  • 200m run

As soon as I began the run at the end of the first round, my legs were gelatinous.  I ran about half the distance and had to walk a lot of the way back.  I kept marching on though.  Round 2 seemed a little bit easier, due to the fact that it was fewer reps. We managed to finish it and get through the run.  When we got back into the gym for round 3, I noticed that a majority of the other people were already putting away their equipment.  There were only 5 minutes left to go and I was drained.  I walked over to the area I was using for our workout and slowly started round 3.  Maria was struggling right along with me, but had to stop to take care of her son, who was with us in the childcare area.  I sludged through it on my own.  I now realized that we were the only ones still going.  As a fat guy with low self esteem, I have issues with people staring at me.  This was about to become one of my worst fears.  Everyone else had started watching me and Maria, as she returned, try and finish the WOD.  I started to try blocking out the staring eyes, but that wasn't going to happen.  They weren't going to let that happen.  One of the biggest draws of CrossFit is the sense of community and camaraderie each gym, trainer, and member are known for oozing out.  These people weren't staring at me at all.  They had all gathered around to encourage us and root us on.  I had to drop that wall I had built as a defense mechanism.  I felt like I was a part of this "family" and I had only been there for less than an hour.  I pushed as hard as I thought was possible for me.  I dropped that last dead lift to the mat and made a dash to the back door for my final 200m run.  Maria had to stop again to help out her son, so I was completely alone.  It was a very emotional moment for me as I made the final turn back into the parking lot.  I looked to the finish, about 50m away.  Nearly the entire gym had ventured out to watch me try to finish.  Everyone was shouting and cheering me on, but my legs were liquid.  I heard someone yell out, "15 seconds!"  There was no way I could make it to the finish in 15 seconds.  I knew I had failed in front of all these people, despite their very vocal encouragement, but I sprinted the last few meters as hard as I could into a crowd of high fives and pats on the back.  I looked up at the timer...  20:00...

I couldn't decide whether to puke, collapse, or cry.  Thankfully, I did none of these things.  I walked over to a box and leaned over for a minute to try to catch my breath.  We weren't done, apparently.  We still had to do 50 v-ups (similar to an ab crunch) as fast as possible.  We were struggling pretty bad on this one.  Less than a minute into it, I heard someone shout out, "Time!", signaling that he had already finished.  Shortly after, Maria was finished, too.  Nearly 3 minutes later, I was done.  That sucked... a lot!  But Maria and I had finished the meat and potatoes of the workout and finished the cool down stretches without incident. 
 
Was this the most intense workout I've ever done?  Without a doubt.  Did it suck?  Yup!  Did I enjoy it?  Absolutely.  I will be back next weekend and soon enough, I'll join as a full fledged member.

I've heard a lot of people talk about the CrossFit kool-aid.  It's almost cult-like, but in a very positive way.  Pass me a big glass, I'm thirsty for more...

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Small Milestones

Last summer, I decided I would try to start running, and in the process, finish a 5k race. I was very gun-ho for the project at first. I would go out and run with a friend a couple days a week. Within a few weeks, though, I began find excuses to stay inside and skip the runs. That didn't stop race day from creeping up on me. In the end, I ran (walked) that 5k in 50:49. I didn't care about the time as much as I cared about just finishing. It was just the first step in creating a healthier me, right?  I haven't run a day since...

That is, until a few weeks ago. I figured I'd give it a try again. I started off slow. Very slow. I struggled to keep my pace under 19 minutes a mile and could barely get 2 miles in. In just a few weeks time, though, I've managed to bump that distance up 75% to 3.5 miles, 3x a week, and get my pace down to around 14 minutes.  Yesterday I even beat my original 5k time by more than 6.5 minutes!

I don't think I've ever been healthier in the past 15 years. I'm eating right. I'm exercising regularly. I'm sticking with it. I have a great support system at home and online with all of my friends. 

I've come up with a few rewards for each if my milestones I reach. I'd like to try CrossFit. I've been advised that I might prefer losing a little more weight first, as to avoid an early demise. It's intense stuff. (If you're not familiar with CrossFit, just google it.) It's also a bit costly. It's not something a can afford right now, but I found a place that told me to come in on Saturday mornings (plural) to check it out. The owner told me to just come to the Saturday morning WOD (workout of the day) until I can afford a membership. What the hell... I'm in!  So it looks like I'll be sweating like a pig, trying to keep my heart from exploding in my chest, and puking from exhaustion on Saturday mornings for a while.  Check them out here!

I've never felt the desire to better myself like I do right now. It's not just my physical health either. I want to go to school in the fall. I want to be a better father. I want to read more. I want... The list is fairly long and a bit too personal to share on here, but you get my drift. Time will tell. 

Did I mention I'm doing a GORUCK Challenge in October?  Google that one and I'll save that conversation for another day. 



Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Starting Over This "Starting Over" Thing

I guess I should just start with the basics...  My name is Rick. Nice to meet ya. I'm a 34 year old father of 3 awesome kids, and I'm too fat and out of shape to actually play with them. I'm glad I got that out of the way. Now I'll give you a few details.

Like many obese people, I have always been big. Sure, they might have called me "husky" as a kid, but I'm not dumb. I knew exactly what that meant. I mean, I wasn't the biggest kid in school growing up, but I knew I was always a few pounds away from holding that title. As I got a little older, and puberty took the reigns, I evened out a little bit, proportionally speaking. I got a little taller, my shoulders widened, and I started getting muscles in places I thought were reserved for muscle heads and athletes. I tried to take advantage of it for a short while with the occasional backyard football game, pick up game of basketball, or an evening at the ball diamond. I felt great for the most part, but I never reached my potential. Eventually, "life" set in. High school was almost over, and I was working as much as I could at the local Taco Bell. There just wasn't as much time to participate in my normal extracurriculars and it started to take its toll on my body. I was stuffing myself with self-made burritos at work and chugging Mt. Dew like it was going out of style. I never looked back. 

After high school, I got married and landed a really good job with an incredible pay scale. Before long, we were eating out at least 5 days a week with my new found fortune. Little did I know, I should have been saving that money for more important things... Like a gym membership. Fast forward 14 more years through 3 kids and 2 failed marriages and you'll find this mess I am now. 

I have plenty of stories I could tell about how I tried and tried and tried to lose weight in the past. How I lost 30 pounds a few times only to give up after a misstep or two and gain it all back. Chances are, they are the same stories you've heard 1,000 times before from yourself or people you know that have struggled with their weight. So I'll just end with this instead...

"My name is Rick. I'm done being what I've always been. This is my fresh start. Hang around a while so I can blow your fu*#ing mind."

I think I may end each of these entries with some kind of quote I have enjoyed recently, so here is a good one to start with.





"Be so good they can't ignore you." - Steve Martin